Thursday, May 9, 2013

Oh hey there strangers... Here's an update!

It's WILD but I just dropped in and realized I only had this entry as a draft. OOOPS! So here is my last post.

I know it's been a while....5 months post procedure, however some still ask how everything is going. Honestly I can't believe I didn't inform everyone of the outcome via blog and not just word of mouth sooner. But this really isn't my journey so I wanted to let Katie and Pat have this time to celebrate and share the way they please to do! So if you do not know, here it goes.....

Katie and Pat are in fact PREGNANT! They found out just before Christmas :) and what could make this present any better?.... 2 babies!

Also I forgot to mention the outcome of the egg retrieval! After waiting for the embryos to develop over the course of the five days they were outside the body, 6 fertilized embryos made it to the FINAL STAGE! Katie and Pat decided to transfer two embryos (SUCCESS) and still have four embryos to use in the future.

As of today, Katie and I still talk on a weekly basis and recently, while they were in town we had a wonderful lunch. Montgomery Inn Yuuuuuummmmmm! Most would think it's weird what we are going through, and yes, it's a little weird, but we own it... and we do it with wonderful humor. If you can't laugh at life, welp, goodluck! I have learned early on in life the no matter what you do, seriously no matter what, you are always going to make someone upset, someone, somewhere. So my theory.... do what makes you happy and what you feel is right!

It's crazy to see how far Katie and the girls have come! I have not seen them since we went out to eat back in December.. It's amazing! She is glowing, like GLOWING and just happy. These little girls are so lucky to have such a wonderful family to love and nurture them! It makes me so happy that I could help and impact their lives in such a way.

Now...... to what everyone has asked and even if you haven't asked, I'm sure you are wondering. What now? Even I wondered what now?, you can tell by the lack of blogging. Katie and I took time to discuss the future over lunch. They have been open throughout this process that the girls and future children should know where they came from; know how badly they were wanted and what this couple/family/community went through to have them. I 100% believe that this is the best for them! To own this and make this part of who they are as early as they can. 

We also discussed my role. Like most things in life, especially something special like this, there is no manual. There is no "right" way to approach, no measurement of success, other than health and happiness (in my opinion). There will be bumps of course, but with open communication and true to the heart decisions; these girls, this family, all of us collectively will thrive. Respectively, Katie and Pat have put the ball in my court in regards to the openness they will share with these little ladies about me. And as I've always felt, I am okay with meeting them and sharing with them. Their mother is currently baking them in her little oven, keeping them healthy, bonding and loving them unconditionally. She will be tucking them in at night and bandaging them up after life's "uh oh".  I'm okay with being a cool "aunt" :) I plan to have a family of my own and sharing this story with them as well. As we sat with each other, we realized... it's all just one day at a time.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Eggcelent News!

Sorry for the delay, but Sunday night I was feeling absolutly horrible... On an off tears and so my blog post was very short. Not only did my stomach kill, but I was very sensitive, all of me. I must have been such a joy for the bf. NOT. Since I felt so horrible, we ended up spending the evening watching Harry Potter the last 2 movies !! :) Every time I feel bad I love watching those movies lol... I couldn't sleep for a few reasons: I felt miserable, I wanted to finally see the last HP which is liek 2 hours and I was a bit nervous. I wasn't nervous at all for the first one and heck, I didn't even take the valium, but this time was different....

I was nervous because it's now so personal, and I didn't know how many eggs or how big they would be on the day of the retrieval.... So I toss and turn all night and eventually got a text from Katie at like 4:45 lol so excited. And I was like dead lol but still excited. My alarm went off at 5:45 and I made sure to take my valium at 6:15. We arrived at IRH a few minutes early, and right at 6:45 we were in the building!

I was welcomed at the front by Katie my nurse (weird, I know) and the fun began. She tried to get the IV in my arm but nothing, yay for useless pokes... After the wiggling and giggling with no responce we moved to my hand. Woo hoo it worked, but geeze it hurt. I was feeling good, at first I was like, I don't even get the point of Valium until a little while later. So once that was completed, they moved me into the room where the procedure took place. You feel a touch awkward because then they move you to the bed, your feet are up in the sturups and your ass is just hanging off the bed lol, a blanket is placed over you but still haha it's weird. However, at this point not much is weird... Dr. S was a little late due to the weather but in a wonderful mood no less. He came and greeted me, I remember this, but after that it's all a blur. Last time I did this, I remember staying awak and talking to Dr.S but I think thanks to the Valuim I was out!

Next thing I know, I'm being push back into my little resting area and the bf was there waiting all smiles... I got some juice and a sprite because I felt a little nauseous and then the hickups ahhaha which made me and the nurses laugh out loud.... Katie (nurse) asked me if I needed anything else then proceeded to ask my bf if I was this easy to deal with at home and he chuckled... LOL

While we were still there I made sure to ask how it all went and how many they got, Dr. A thought I might make 1 more and end up with 12 but HA proved him wrong~ they were able to retreive 18 healthy eggs!!!! Good in size (which is most important) THIS is why I was in such pain.... but it really was all worth it. The bf helped me get dressed, and then we headed to Busken :)!! Finally allowed to eat, I enjoyed every last bite! At last we were home and once again the bf helped me get changed and I was on the couch for good. The vicodin worked wonders as I was super sore, but it also made me really nauesous. blah... My bf had to leave as he doesn't live in the city and had to get back for work and my dad came and brought me dinner and cookies! I love my support system.

As of today, I'm back at work, still really sore but good... Things are looking REALLY really good for Katie and Pat  and I'm so excited I was able to help.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

The time has come...

Last night I took my ovidrel and all was good. However, later that night and today has been a different story... Orvidrel is used to start ovulation and it certainly has! Everything is sore :( the cramps have increasingly gotten worse but in 12 hours the retrieval will be well under way! Tomorrow morning, I will take a Valium at 6:15 and arrival at IRH by 6:45. Wish me luck!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Its been decided...

Monday is the day! While it's been a rough couple of days, retrieval day is just around the corner :) I woke up at 8:23 today for an 8:30 apt, so my day started off exciting. I had no time to drink fluids prior to my blood work up, so that was fun. And I still have bruising from my last work up so I decided to go with my other arm, which doesn't have such a prominent vein, BAD IDEA lol no blood... so I got poked and then poked again in the bruised arm lol, fantastic. But finally they got what they needed and it was off to the ultra sound..

Things are looking fantastic... lots of big fat eggs or follicles. I still have 11 and they range (most are 13 mm) but I have a few that are about 17-18! And as I do more research, this is the ideal size for best results, so I think the Dr. wants just one more day on the medications to see if we can plum a few more up :) If I remember correctly, last cycle most of my eggs were in the 9 mm range and only a few were 12 -13. So wooo hoo!

I then sat with my favorite nurse, who I worked with last time and we went over the instructions and paperwork for everything coming up. She's so nice and it's comforting to have a familiar face... She assured me that this retrieval would be much better than the last since I am not over producing and I'm a little bit more aware of what I should and shouldn't do before the procedure. Like drink plenty of water!  She will not be there Monday but will make sure think positive thoughts for us!

Tonight I continue with the shots that hurt but it's my last night so it's not too bad, only issue, I have a birthday dinner at the same time as the shots, so I just prep them before I leave and take them at 8 wherever I can, and I make sure to make the area as clean as possible. It's actually not bad at all, the weirdest part about the shots is mixing them all. It's just weird.

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend and think lots of good baby thoughts!! We need as much good energy out there as possible and all the love so far has be VERY helpful! 


Thursday, December 1, 2011

BLAH.....

Is how I'd describe last night and today! It wasn't the new shot that hurt, but the one that is the mixture of Menopur and Gonal F. I don't know what it is, but the two of them together really hurt last night. And the cramping has only gotten worse :( I have to admit, it had me in tears last night. And it wasn't just the pain, but I got upset about other things that normal Samuel would just brush off....I know it's only a few more days so I'm not trying to complain, but explain for those who don't know what it's like to do this. At the moment, every step I take causes a cramp! And they aren't at the top of my stomach but very low... it's like I can feel exactly where these eggs are attached and man is my body not happy about it!  If I go to the bathroom it causes me to cramp! If I laugh or use my stomach for any reason, getting up, SITTING down (ugh) and sneezing, ugh I hate sneezing today, it all causes these horrible cramps. My belly is so stupid bloated and I feel like I'm waddling. I just feel really blah. I feel fat and I've been wearing things that cover my stomach because I've noticed people looking at my stomach at work and it's just like, blah. Seriously this is ANYTHING but comfortable.

The upside.....it's only for a few more days. It's things like this that makes me appreciate my healthy body. Some people feel chronic pain all the time or to actually be pregnant and have 9 months of this, oy-ve. But like I mentioned to one of the girls in my yoga class who said, it could be worse, you could be pregnant.... well true, but when you're pregnant your body adjusts over time.... Due to the hormone shots, my body went from normal to crazyville in a day. Not a lot of time to adjust. Thankfully I have lots of wonderful people around me to remind me why I'm doing this and give me lots of love.

Hopefully the apt tomorrow goes well and my retrieval day will be Sunday!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Fun has Begun!

It's here! I started my shots last Friday and holy cow was I nauseous even after just 45 min!!! I had two soccer games that night and I'm actually glad I did.... It took my mind off the feelings that I was having. The first round of shots went well. I am SO thankful that my dad was there to help me! We watched the videos together and I was still like, ugh what am I supposed to do lol. But we eventually got it! And I did my first injections myself, he helped with the mixing.

The next night, I was on my own and a little frantic. I mixed needles up and it took me an extra 20 minutes to get the Menopur in. Ugh I was freaking out just a bit, but my boyfriend was there to tell me to just breathe and take a moment to figure it out. I was using the wrong needle to draw up the medication, called my dad, fixed it, then the needle for the injection was bum, and wouldn't go in, so I got a new needle and then wha-la! Done. I started feeling crampy and a bit uneasy so we spent the night in, watching movies and eating pizza and ice cream :) the ice cream was a surprise and MAN was it a good one!

Sunday I went to dance and blah I felt like complete crap. I couldn't dance full out and we were choosing partners based off performance and getting our formations and at one point, I started crying. I couldn't help it, the stomach pain, and the lack of confidence in my dancing that I normally never feel. I'm still near the front for most of the dancing, so I had nothing to be upset about but I just like doing my best all the time! Afterwards I headed to Skyline with some of my loves and had lots of good talks :) I LOVE SUNDAYS! That night and Monday night my shots went off without a single issue, besides feeling sick to my stomach and the cramps and my one hot flash but hey it was WAY worst last cycle.

I had a dr. apt on Tuesday and took a half day after since, well I have a ton of vacation days to use by the end of the year and ugh, I kinda felt like shit the past few days. However the apt cheered me up. I got a blood work up, just one vial :) and then had my ultra sound and .......... I have 11 big healthy eggs. I was a bit nervous, because last time, I had 21 and I thought something was wrong. But the dr. informed me that they have seen this before in repeat donors, they don't have such a strong reaction the second cycle. I got to see all the eggs and they are much bigger than they were last time, which is fantastic! They have added another shot, this one to make sure I do not ovulate until they need me to. So bring it on, if I can do two shots, hell, I can do three.

I now have another appointment on Friday for another blood workup and ultra sound. Then we will determine the retrieval date! Which will either be Sunday or Monday.... It's almost here....so now I just keep taking the shots, wearing my most stretchy pants (my stomach is SO freaking bloated) lol, and keep dealing with the cramps and nausea and soon enough it will just be a memory.

Today I also found out that my boyfriend, who doesn't live in the same city as me is going to change his work schedule (if needed Monday) to take me to the retreival and spend the day with me afterwards. It made me tear up a little because this time, I'm a little more anxious about the transfer, not really sure why but for whatever reason I am... and he's really good at keeping my crazy little mind calm. And the hormones don't help haha.

I'm really excited this is finally all here and it's real... and I can't wait for all of the results at the end of this!



Friday, November 25, 2011

Thanking my lucky stars....

It's turkey week! And it has been fantastic, well kinda.... I completed my pack of birth control and instead of taking the little white pills, I started a new pack for only a few days and on the 21st I was finished. But holy cow! Between the PMS (which normally I don't really have) and ending my caffeine obsession, I've been one grumpy s.o.b. I thought since Katie gave up caffeine, I'd do the same, couldn't hurt and I want to do everything I can to help this succeed. BUT man have I been mean, and I'm talking crying, angry, want to punch people in the face mean, and I hated it. However, once I started my period things started to mellow out and I've been back to my lovie self since. And thankfully it started that day, because that was the day I spent ALL day with family, and not just my immediate family but my boyfriends as well.. I'm happy I wasn't still being a b*tch :)

So yesterday was Thanksgiving and I'm really lucky because while some people don't have any one to spend the day with, I have two dinners. Whenever you say, oh yeah, we're off to our next full thanksgiving meal people always say, oh that sucks, good luck. But seriously, we get to spend the day with both sides and I think I'm lucky to have all that love. And it's fun because they atmosphere changes throughout the day.... Starts with a mellow, conversation filled afternoon, great food and football; then another wonderful meal, more conversation, going around the table each telling the table what we are thankful for followed up by cheering each other and then a woohoo and ending the night with wii dancing and Elf (my favorite Christmas movie!) It was a fantastic day! I have so many wonderful things to be thankful for that it amazes me, I am so lucky for the life that I have and the friends and family who surround me.

Today I started the day with a little Black Friday shopping with my dad :) at JCP and then Old Navy and got lots of great new clothes that I've really needed to purchase, just didn't want to pay full price. And it wasn't bad at all, it was awesome! Now I'm still hanging out with my parents, getting ready for my double header soccer game and preparing my shots. Ugh shots! This is a new medication than my last cycle and when I saw the needles OMFG they weren't that big! but then I watched the videos and the large needle is only for mixing my vial of Menopur. PHEWW, I actually got really nervous when I saw it, but after the videos I was all good. Then I realized I didn't have my instructions page and couldn't find it. ahhhhhh I called the IRH but they were closed, I left a frantic message, and at that point all i could do was wait. A few hours later, Lizzie, the donor coordinator called me and I was instructed not to do anything tonight because my safety was more important with the risk of my health if I took the wrong dose... It's nice to know that they really do care about the well being of the donors. However, I FOUND IT! wooo hooooo it was in my glove compartment in my car :) in case I wasn't home when I had to take my first dose... I'd loose my head if it wasn't attached, good thing it is!

Now it's shot time.... I'm kinda nervous this time because it's a different medicine and it's just a little bit more of a process and I don't want to mess anything up. Thankfully (staying on theme) my dad is a pharmacist and can help me with all of this stuff. I have to mix the Menopur and while they said I could avoid two shots and just mix both medications together, my dad informed me, that getting a shot with more than 1 cc is just the right dose to make sure it's not sore later and it doesn't get a little bubble. I'm glad he's here because I would have just done the two together thinking it would be better, but in reality it's not. So now I will keep a log of which shot I do on which part of my stomach and alternate each night so I can reduce the pain.

Let the fun begin!