The Fun has Begun!

It's here! I started my shots last Friday and holy cow was I nauseous even after just 45 min!!! I had two soccer games that night and I'm actually glad I did.... It took my mind off the feelings that I was having. The first round of shots went well. I am SO thankful that my dad was there to help me! We watched the videos together and I was still like, ugh what am I supposed to do lol. But we eventually got it! And I did my first injections myself, he helped with the mixing.

The next night, I was on my own and a little frantic. I mixed needles up and it took me an extra 20 minutes to get the Menopur in. Ugh I was freaking out just a bit, but my boyfriend was there to tell me to just breathe and take a moment to figure it out. I was using the wrong needle to draw up the medication, called my dad, fixed it, then the needle for the injection was bum, and wouldn't go in, so I got a new needle and then wha-la! Done. I started feeling crampy and a bit uneasy so we spent the night in, watching movies and eating pizza and ice cream :) the ice cream was a surprise and MAN was it a good one!

Sunday I went to dance and blah I felt like complete crap. I couldn't dance full out and we were choosing partners based off performance and getting our formations and at one point, I started crying. I couldn't help it, the stomach pain, and the lack of confidence in my dancing that I normally never feel. I'm still near the front for most of the dancing, so I had nothing to be upset about but I just like doing my best all the time! Afterwards I headed to Skyline with some of my loves and had lots of good talks :) I LOVE SUNDAYS! That night and Monday night my shots went off without a single issue, besides feeling sick to my stomach and the cramps and my one hot flash but hey it was WAY worst last cycle.

I had a dr. apt on Tuesday and took a half day after since, well I have a ton of vacation days to use by the end of the year and ugh, I kinda felt like shit the past few days. However the apt cheered me up. I got a blood work up, just one vial :) and then had my ultra sound and .......... I have 11 big healthy eggs. I was a bit nervous, because last time, I had 21 and I thought something was wrong. But the dr. informed me that they have seen this before in repeat donors, they don't have such a strong reaction the second cycle. I got to see all the eggs and they are much bigger than they were last time, which is fantastic! They have added another shot, this one to make sure I do not ovulate until they need me to. So bring it on, if I can do two shots, hell, I can do three.

I now have another appointment on Friday for another blood workup and ultra sound. Then we will determine the retrieval date! Which will either be Sunday or Monday.... It's almost here....so now I just keep taking the shots, wearing my most stretchy pants (my stomach is SO freaking bloated) lol, and keep dealing with the cramps and nausea and soon enough it will just be a memory.

Today I also found out that my boyfriend, who doesn't live in the same city as me is going to change his work schedule (if needed Monday) to take me to the retreival and spend the day with me afterwards. It made me tear up a little because this time, I'm a little more anxious about the transfer, not really sure why but for whatever reason I am... and he's really good at keeping my crazy little mind calm. And the hormones don't help haha.

I'm really excited this is finally all here and it's real... and I can't wait for all of the results at the end of this!

Thanking my lucky stars....

It's turkey week! And it has been fantastic, well kinda.... I completed my pack of birth control and instead of taking the little white pills, I started a new pack for only a few days and on the 21st I was finished. But holy cow! Between the PMS (which normally I don't really have) and ending my caffeine obsession, I've been one grumpy s.o.b. I thought since Katie gave up caffeine, I'd do the same, couldn't hurt and I want to do everything I can to help this succeed. BUT man have I been mean, and I'm talking crying, angry, want to punch people in the face mean, and I hated it. However, once I started my period things started to mellow out and I've been back to my lovie self since. And thankfully it started that day, because that was the day I spent ALL day with family, and not just my immediate family but my boyfriends as well.. I'm happy I wasn't still being a b*tch :)

So yesterday was Thanksgiving and I'm really lucky because while some people don't have any one to spend the day with, I have two dinners. Whenever you say, oh yeah, we're off to our next full thanksgiving meal people always say, oh that sucks, good luck. But seriously, we get to spend the day with both sides and I think I'm lucky to have all that love. And it's fun because they atmosphere changes throughout the day.... Starts with a mellow, conversation filled afternoon, great food and football; then another wonderful meal, more conversation, going around the table each telling the table what we are thankful for followed up by cheering each other and then a woohoo and ending the night with wii dancing and Elf (my favorite Christmas movie!) It was a fantastic day! I have so many wonderful things to be thankful for that it amazes me, I am so lucky for the life that I have and the friends and family who surround me.

Today I started the day with a little Black Friday shopping with my dad :) at JCP and then Old Navy and got lots of great new clothes that I've really needed to purchase, just didn't want to pay full price. And it wasn't bad at all, it was awesome! Now I'm still hanging out with my parents, getting ready for my double header soccer game and preparing my shots. Ugh shots! This is a new medication than my last cycle and when I saw the needles OMFG they weren't that big! but then I watched the videos and the large needle is only for mixing my vial of Menopur. PHEWW, I actually got really nervous when I saw it, but after the videos I was all good. Then I realized I didn't have my instructions page and couldn't find it. ahhhhhh I called the IRH but they were closed, I left a frantic message, and at that point all i could do was wait. A few hours later, Lizzie, the donor coordinator called me and I was instructed not to do anything tonight because my safety was more important with the risk of my health if I took the wrong dose... It's nice to know that they really do care about the well being of the donors. However, I FOUND IT! wooo hooooo it was in my glove compartment in my car :) in case I wasn't home when I had to take my first dose... I'd loose my head if it wasn't attached, good thing it is!

Now it's shot time.... I'm kinda nervous this time because it's a different medicine and it's just a little bit more of a process and I don't want to mess anything up. Thankfully (staying on theme) my dad is a pharmacist and can help me with all of this stuff. I have to mix the Menopur and while they said I could avoid two shots and just mix both medications together, my dad informed me, that getting a shot with more than 1 cc is just the right dose to make sure it's not sore later and it doesn't get a little bubble. I'm glad he's here because I would have just done the two together thinking it would be better, but in reality it's not. So now I will keep a log of which shot I do on which part of my stomach and alternate each night so I can reduce the pain.

Let the fun begin!

ommmmmmmm babies!

Tonight I went to a Yoga for Fertility class and it was really refreshing. I left feeling centered and my hips are feeling fantastic. You might ask, um why are YOU attending that class? Well since you asked.... I like to get perspective, and also to get some good baby vibes and send them Katies way. Tonight, the intention of my practice was to channel my very excited racing mind, and focus on only the positive with this process. Being a known donor is a completely different feeling, and it's hard to explain, but I feel more of a connection, more pressure, now that their is a face to who I'm helping, it's so much more personal and I just want it to all work!

For this exact reason, yoga is so valuable. Not just mentally but also physically. I'll get to the physical later but mentally it helps calm my mind. I also like to think that what I put out in the universe, thoughts and actions, work themselves out somehow. If you think negative thoughts, well that's what you're going to get. So negative thoughts, sorry but I'll have to politely ask you to leave and shut the door behind you. Anyways, while we were on the mat and calming our breathe our teacher reminded us to think solely of our intentions and let light shine into our hearts and all  I could imagine as silly as this sounds is a bright light shining through my heart and a very happy big bellied Katie. Those are my intentions that I am putting out to the universe and if you can hear me, that would be awesome.

I will continue to attend my yoga classes and keep channeling my happy thoughts. I love yoga, especially at this studio, I go to YogahOMe here in Cincinnati, and it's crazy how amazing you feel after, only downfall.... most of the classes available are hot classes, which starting the 25th - the transfer date I'm not allowed to take :( like I said last post, no cooking the eggs, so that includes hot baths, hot tubs, saunas and hot yoga. So I will make sure to attend the prenatal classes, the yoga for fertility classes and also get in a few meditation classes... The meditation class is what really helps come egg retrieval time. The other classes help, but meditation REALLY helps me control my thoughts and body. And this includes pain tolerance. I think it's because I better regulate my breath and your breath controls everything! It helps from the start, see egg retrial day is very exciting and honestly what it really helps with is the actual retrieval. It's a BIT of a sting and a little yoga breathing makes a WORLD of difference. So yoga, I'm here to stay and a big fan of our relationship. Can't wait for our date tomorrow night! Hot Yoga here I come, well, until Thanksgiving!

Shanti Shanti Shanti Namaste!

Here's the plan!

As of now I’m currently taking IC Necon (generic, Ortho-Novum) birth control. I have just completed one pack and will order my next pack this week. I was instructed not to take any of the sugar pills and head straight into the next pack. I’m not a huge fan of birth control, simply because it can impact your body so differently based on what you use and I’ve certainly had my hit and misses with the baby blocker since my body is a little sensitive to meds and honestly, I’m not that big of a fan of this one, but it’s all a part of the process and I only have a few more weeks of it. It’s kind of confusing why I would be placed on birth control pills during this process, but as I was informed, it helps “turn off” my ovaries and helps the facility control my period, which you’ll see why a little later down the post. My last oral contraceptive pill will be on the 21^st of November. I will then wait until the 25^th to start the real work. I was pretty stoked to find out that I would not have to take any meds or shots during Thanksgiving.

Not to be selfish, but it’ll be great to spend the holiday with my family without having to take my shots with everyone around, or have the hormones impact my emotions or body. Just relax, eat, and enjoy the company… Also maybe a glass of wine the night before when we head out to my aunt  and uncles family lake house J Technically I’m allowed to drink UNTIL I start my shots, however once I’ve committed to the process, I don’t like putting anything bad in my body. So I haven’t been drinking since we signed all the paperwork; also, I recently just got over acute bronchitis/walking pneumonia, and haven’t been drinking due to the antibiotics. SO anyways, it’ll be nice to have a glass of wine while I snack on some yummy grub and catch up with family.

On the 25^th I start my injections! I am using different medications this cycle because I ended up getting a cyst last cycle and it pushed the process back a little, which I do NOT want to happen this time. The timing is so sensitive in IVF that everything counts. IF and just IF everything goes to plan, the transfer will be early December and the couple will be informed of the outcome right around Christmas. Gives me chills just thinking about it! It just feels magical! And honestly, who doesn’t like magic?!?

So on to the good stuff… The schedule is as follows, 25^th – 28^th between the hours of 4 – 10 pm (I will choose a consistent time for each night) I will inject 150 International Units of Gonal F and 1 vial of Menopur into my thigh. I am allowed to mix them or can take separately but seriously, I’m not trying to give myself 2 shots a night. They don’t necessarily feel like a hug, so I will mix.

Gonal F Pen is a gonadotropin hormone produced by recombinant DNA technology (rDNA). It consists of recombinant human follicle stimulating hormone (r-hFSH) and contains neither luteinizing hormone (LH) nor urinary proteins. That’s why they also include Menopur 1 Vial : which is a highly purified preparation of naturally derived gonadotropins called hMG. It contains equal amounts of two kinds of hormonal activity: FSH and LH. FSH helps to stimulate egg production, and LH helps the eggs to mature and release (ovulation). Therefore, Menopur is really a combination product. It acts as both a follicle stimulant and an ovulatory stimulant. Menopur is used to help stimulate eggs to mature in women whose ovaries are unable to develop eggs.  FSH is primarily used in women and is necessary for the recruitment, growth and maturation of the ovarian follicles, which contain cells known as ova or oocytes. This occurs at the beginning of a woman's menstrual cycle (which is why they put me on birth control, so they can decide to start my period after I complete them on the 21^st)

The most common side effects observed between the two of these medications include but are not limited to headache, stomach pain, stomach bloating, ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome (which almost happen last cycle), nausea, acne, breast tenderness, mood changes, hot flashes and vaginal bleeding.. Bruising, pain and redness can happen at the injection site. AWESOME!!!  haha. Honestly it’s not that bad, but then again, it kinda is… I mean during the process, it sucks. It’s hard to understand how a few hormones could completely change you, but it only lasts for a short time and after the cycle is completed, it’s no big deal, its old news to me. Now if you were to ask my boyfriend, ummmmm I’m not sure what he would tell you. This will be his second cycle within the past year and it’s a little different in through his eyes. However I have assured him this will be my last donation.

See during this time, not only does he get the joy of hearing of my pains and hot flashes and mood swings, like random laughter that turns to crying that somehow into sad tears, and all the way back around the wheel of crazy. But we can’t be intimate for 3 weeks or so! (I’ll stay pg 13) but yeah, it’s no joy ride for him, and he doesn’t get the reward of really feeling like he’s helping another couple like I do. But he’s a great guy and loves me to pieces and supports my decision. So I will try to plan something really nice for him for when this is all over, since he’s the silent part of all of this equation. He helps keep me sane and happy and rubs my back when the pain is too much. He doesn’t mind that I cry randomly, he just waits’ it out, gives me a hug and all is right in the world.

Funny story… Last cycle, I went to a casino for a charity event around Valentine’s Day with my beau, I was so excited, I knew I couldn’t drink so I got all dressed up and we made a date night out of it… While I’m in the Casino, I start getting CRAZY hot flashes, so I just decided to watch him on the poker table and try and cool down. Every now and then I’d head out and play the slots (I had never been to a casino before and don’t really like gambling so that’s all I’m comfortable with). I won all my money back plus $80 and on the way home, discovered I wouldn’t be able to get the heart shaped pizza I wanted and then a pretty song came on and I just broke down; my boyfriend didn’t know what to do. Kinda buzzed he just started laughing, he knew it was the process but I didn’t even know why I was really crying, and then I was crying because I felt crazy and then felt bad for him for having to deal with me. Eventually, I came back down to reality. We laugh about it now, but during the process it’s a little touchy. I can only imagine this is what I’ll be like when I one day get pregnant, and yet he sticks around. I’m already a sensitive person, easy to shed a tear, happy or sad (I cried watching Ice Age, not on hormones lol) so when I’m on all this medicine, I’m kinda a hot mess. But hey! It’s all for a good cause, and like I said it only lasts a short time….

So anyways, back to the plan – On the 28^th, I head back into the office and will get the necessary blood work, ultra sound and further instructions. It is at this appointment when the doctor determines the final course of action to complete the process. It is based on how my ovaries are responding to the medicine and how the egg production is coming along. I could be over producing or under producing… and it’s just a delicate balance since not everyone responds the same way. They adjust as needed and we keep moving forward!

While I wait for Thanksgiving, and continue my pills I will start to mentally prepare myself for what my body is about to go through, YOGA J which makes me really happy! I found that going to yoga and learning to channel any pain and really control my thoughts helps when things get crazy. It also keeps me channeling positive thoughts and keeps my energy levels high. I’ll also keep working out and will get back to eating much healthier and taking all my vitamins… I like to try and stay as healthy as possible since I did just get healthy again and it’s that time of year when germs are taking over! However, once I start the medications, I have been instructed to not take any types of medications (even vitamins) and if I have any pain I am only allowed to take Tylenol, I have to limit exercise, heavy lifting and I’m not allowed to go in hot tubs or take really hot showers (which I love) – no cooking the eggs! Lol

Happy Monday!

IF anyone has any questions feel free to let me know what’s on your mind! That’s what this blog is

all about…

And how do you know this girl?....

Sorry for the delay, I have not had internet access all weekend and my computer recently decided to die... But I finally have access to the internet and my sisters computer is free for the night, so I'll only post something short.  Tomorrow I will update you with the plan, timeline, all the medications I recieved Friday and all that jazz.

It's funny when people ask me if I know the recipent of my eggs and say, yeah, I've met her once. Their faces get this really silly confused look. I talk about Katie and Pat as if I've known them for years, and that's only kind of true. See I have known Pat since I was a young kid, his parents only live a few miles from mine and we went through school together. My best friend once dated his brother, small world. I wouldn't say we were close, but we knew each other and he was a great guy....Always happy, always smiling. Although I have only met Katie face to face once, we talk all the time, love her. Check out her blog, I'll put the link on my page, you understand who she is right away and why it's so easy to like her.

This is a fantastic article below will help those who are not familiar understand why I am so passionate about helping this couple and at no cost. Katie has been through so much in her life and as a couple, even the short time they have been together, her and Pat have already had to face issues that most couples will NEVER have to even think about. And they do it will such pose and positivity. I am honored to help a couple like this.

http://www.suburbanwoman.net/story.php?ID=98

Here we go!

So a lot goes into donating but since I'm an approved donor and know my recipient, most of what took so much time last cycle is already completed. I'll go into these later in another post, it's basically the application, interview, physical screening, psychological exam, then removal of any birth control (if you're on it) then we get to where I am today, the FDA testing. Now a few weeks ago, I did have to go into IRH and have an ultrasound just to double check everything since after my first cycle I went on vacation right after my transfer and ended up getting a concussion and staying in Montana a little longer and whelp, forgot to get my post check up. They do this just to make sure my body is still good after what it just went through. See, my first donation they were able to retrieve over 21 eggs! CRAZY, but good for the couple. Remember, naturally, women only produce 1 egg a month and it's that little lone egg that gives you all that trouble, or for men, the bill for the month. So it can be hard on your body.

Now it's funny the way everyone talks at the reproductive center, since baby making is all they do... During the ultra sound, which the actual doctor completed (not the assistant) I was told I had beautiful follicles (haha) and that my ovaries are so very responsive and that we were good to go! See before I agreed to do this for Katie, I had just put in birth control that was implanted in my arm, I originally wasn't going to donate again. It's a 3 year birth control and the hormones build as you keep it in.. So the doctor thought my body wouldn't be ready until December to start the syncing. However, like he said, my ovaries are very responsive and we're ready for action. I then met with the donor coordinator and she had me complete the paperwork needed to keep the process moving right along. They basically state that I am doing this on my own free will, not be seeking compensation and will follow all the steps as directed. The coordinator then gave me an idea of when the transfer might take place, hopefully the first week in December and once again reminded me of my wonderful ovaries. Bahaha, seems like a silly comment, but in this business, it's what so many women, wish they would hear. So I take the complement with a smile. The final topic was scheduling my FDA workup.

So here we are today, FDA testing! Although I know I'm healthy, it's still weird to have the tests done. I mean they are testing for things that well, I wouldn't be able to tell are wrong with me... So it's nice to know once it's all over with that I'm good to go and we can start the real fun! I answer all these questions about being overseas, if I've been to jail, if I've been sharing needles with people, oh ya know, the usual! Then the blood work, lots of blood work.... Of course you get weighed and blood pressure and they also document if and where I may have any piercings, or tattoos.

All of the nurses are super nice and I always like to joke and have fun with them. Both of my parents are in the medical world so I'm not shy or nervous to tell these people anything. It's their job, things aren't weird to them like they are to people work in other industries. So it's not bad.

I recieved all my medications and here we go!

Family is Family....no matter how we come by them

Were you a first date? One extra drink? A gift from God?.... Babies don't seem hard to come by, have you seen 16 and Pregnant?. Thankfully, I'm not on the bandwagon. But for some people, the business of babies is exactly that! Now I'm not trying to get political here, but I have a strong belief that the people who wait to be "ready" for a family (really, who's ever truly ready for the crazy ride?!) but now can't and are willing to do whatever it takes, emotionally or financially should have the chance. I'm not sure of the history of infertility, I'm sure some will say it's all the vaccinations, or the stress, or it's just naturally the way it is.

I don't believe that your family is who makes you. Look at the world today, all the blended beauty that makes a family in today's society. Yes, it can get messy. Stressful. A test of pride. But if you are surrounded by people who love, nurture, support, and see that your best intentions are looked out for, you in fact, have a family...whether they "made" you or not. And if in fact you do have what I just described, you're lucky!

No matter how a baby may come into someone world, it should be loved beyond life. Sometimes you realize just how precious something is when you must face a struggle to obtain it. You love it and cherish it even more because it didn’t just fall into your lap, or belly for that matter. So why should couples facing infertility not be granted the opportunity to try whatever it takes to make their dreams come true.

I’ve always been told and will always believe that hard work DOES pay off and if you truly want something, you’ll find a way to make it happen. However, the real world doesn’t guarantee anything for effort. But, if you do try everything, it can sometimes make it easier to move forward, because you did your best and that’s all anyone can ever ask for. For people who believe that IVF is doing gods work, give me a break. Like I said before, I’m not going to get all political on her, this is a blog of my opinions. But if god, made us this smart to be able to help couples become families, well why not give it a try! After all it’s just a try, nothing is guaranteed.

Now this process is not some easy task, quick procedure, over night knocked up type of thing. It is emotionally, financially, and physically daunting! As one of my favorite quotes, it might not be easy, but it sure will be worth it. Great rewards are not given without great risks – and putting yourself there like couples do facing infertility is exactly that.

Without donors, this process just could not work. So here I am! I am a feeler, sensitive, empathetic; realistic. I cannot imagine what these couples face and if I was in their shoes, I’d want someone to step forward and help. My ultimate favorite quote (you’ll learn I LOVE them) “I CHOOSE… to live by choice, not by chance; to make changes, not excuses; to be motivate, not manipulated; to be useful, not used; to excel, not compete. I choose self-esteem, not self-pity. I choose to listen to my inner voice, not the random opinion of others.” THIS is why I am a donor. I choose to help someone, to not worry what other people think of the decision I make and to put myself out there. I try to live my life like this, of course I struggle at it but when it comes to this topic, I am 100% sure that what I am doing is right.

I believe the couple I am helping also lives this way. She chooses to own her destiny and make her dreams come true. And while she fights for her dreams, she exposes herself to thousands of other couples facing the same battle. She shares the intimate details that some women in her shoes wouldn’t tell even their best friend… In hopes to shed light on the sisterhood as she calls it.

You can follow her story via her blog Our IVF Journey, for she has been handed somewhat unreasonable challenges in her life and instead of self imploding she stands tall and speaks out for those who are just not able. I can’t wait to help this couple become a family!

Why Blog....

I just want to start out by stating that this is my very first blog, and honestly, I might not be that good at it... read with care.

The purpose of this blog is to give the hopeful future family :) and those who are intrigued by the donor side of IVF an intimate glimpse at what it's really all about and the roller-coaster ride you take for another persons dreams.  It is also for those who think they know, yet have never been through it, a little truth.

I remember talking to a friend after donating for the first time when someone who overheard cut me off. Before I had any chance of letting them know I had already donated, they informed me of all the horrible, painful, crazy things they heard or knew about the process.... that was entertaining! Especially seeing her face once I mentioned I had already been through it. I can't say this will be the same story as any other donor, but it's mine.

When I was a little girl I never thought that I would help a couple have a family before I had my own, but hey, the universe is funny like that. So here we are. Hope you enjoy!